No matter how much I comforted my two month old son, he wouldn’t stop crying. Exhausted, I handed him off to my husband. He immediately stopped crying. I felt this wave of emptiness and sadness. I had taken care of him all day long and yet he only stopped crying for his FATHER? I callously grumbled, “If Dad’s so great, why don’t you become his son’s then?”
I got the sense my husband was going to say, “He already is my son… right?” But we were both so tired that we just went to bed.
-From “Verbal Goofs”
いくら抱っこしてあやしても泣き止まない、生後2ヵ月の息子。ヘトヘトに疲れて眠くて、もう限界…と、夫にバトンタッチしたところ、たちどころに泣き止みました。一日中、あなたのお世話をしてるのは私なのに…と、虚しい悲しい気持ちになって、つい乱暴に言いました。「そんなにパパがいいなら、パパの子になりなさい！」
「もうオレの子だけど…違うの？」とか夫が言ってた気がしますが眠かったので寝ました。
ーー『言いまつがい』より